YOU WANT A ROLLER COASTER IN CENTERFIELD!!!!!!!!!

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                                                                           ” Biff could you pass the micro greens and Salmon infused crémé fréshé ” In the immortal words of Method Man ” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!!!! ”  I agree!!!! This is not a review of the SFG, but that’s most likely what you’ll hear at one of their games or ” matches ” as one fan called it……BROTHER!!!!!  Anyway, I wanted to review the AL West Teams before the season started up, so here we go……..some of this has been posted already, so bear with the commonness of it…….

 

 

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We’ll start with the WHO?STON ASTROS…..and we’re done with that team.  Although they are mostly made up of cast offs and very young players they’ll be a 100 loss team again this year…

 

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Moving on to the Seattle Cano’s……BIG fuckin deal they signed 1, ONE PLAYER for 200+ million and surrounded him with WHAT????? Cory Hart!!!! Let’s just say that the creator of this page HATES big contracts and he’s spot on with his views when it comes to what the Mariners did this off season…..Cano was quoted as saying ” He’s a lot more relaxed this year because he doesn’t have to shave every two days “. Better worry more about your shoulders then facial hair, because YOU’RE it when it comes to the Mariners….it’s a long season, but signing one player isn’t going to vault you into the playoffs……..

 

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Time to review the Stranger Dangers of Texas and most likely welcome back to the discussion Ron’s pipe!!!!! The Stranger Dangers have a talented team, on paper, they’ve added more power to the line-up and have a decent starting rotation. Tylenol Pitch man, Nolan Ryan stepped down as the GM or whatever he was to the team to go help his son in WHO?STON……The Stranger Dangers have now put together two seasons in a row of disappointment and for a team with that much talent and $$$$ that’s not a good routine to get in. Although a former Athletic Coach, Crack Head Ron, seems to be wound a little too tight at times and this has to rub off on his team. His first day of Spring Training comment regarding his line-up facing pitchers should be evidence enough ” I Don’t give a FUCK who they face, the’ve faced different types of pitchers their whole career!!!!! ” Well said Ron……Well said

 

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Finally The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Southern Los Angeles County or AKA Arties nice little hobby……Like the Strangers, The Head and Shoulder gang have ENORMOUS potential.  Perennial ALL STAR, Mike Trout leads this team of Superstars.  Offensively they are one of the Best in the bigs, but we all know that you just don’t win with offensive stats.  Pitching wise, they are suspect at best. Trout is in the final year or close to the final year of his contract and reports say that he will not be bothered by this, but we’ll see.  This team along with the Strangers will pose the biggest challenge to the Athletics, let’s hope these teams are already planning the Championship parade now like they have been the last two years……….Gonna be a good season as usual…….I’ll be reviewing the Athletics in a future blog……Enjoy your day supporters!!!!!!  

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THANKS……I guess???

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TIS THE SEASON TO BE……OOOPS!!!!!!  Wrong season…….Good day fine readers, Idiots and Ignoramuses…….Hope all is well with you and yours.  No matter what time of year it is I find it amusing that the Idiots are healthy and strong with their quest to conquer the world!!!  But no matter, I/WE must push on through!!!!!

I am thankful for the Idiots though, because they give me hours upon hours of material and best of all, it’s FREE!!!!!!! So without fail, I must THANK some of them……

I am thankful for the Idiots that claim to KNOW IT ALL, in particular, the Know It Alls about the sport of baseball.  I do not claim to be all knowing, just a fan of the game, but when you can figure out a person or a group based on words alone because the smugness is dripping off the screen like maple syrup, they are IDIOTS.  These are the people that use big words when they write, but can not put a sentence together in person when they speak.   These are the people that are cute, none abrasive and PC.  It’s ok to be these things, just not all the time, especially around me.  I will vomit all over you and your group and expect you to thank me for it!!!!!!  

I am Thankful for the Idiots that challenge me on a daily basis when it comes to my business. They are the motivation and fire that keep me relevant.  These are the folks in Local and State Government that set up the rules in which my business must follow, but fail to see that tweaking some of the rules just might help a person who has severe health issues live a better life, even though the ” Medicine ” is considered TABOO in their eyes.  They are Idiots……

And lastly, I thank YOU…..The everyday people that read this and COCO CRISPS AFRO ( CCA ).  You are not Idiots ( unless you are a Giants fan on an Athletics page ) You have been a complete JOY to associate with.  You get what this page, CCA, is about and YOU LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!  SO THANK YOU TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD…….wrong one again!!!!!!! Thanks Supporters, from the biggest IDIOT of them all…..ME!!!!!!!!!!

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SACRÉ BLEU!!!!!! Dites que ce n’est pas vrai ……

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O Canada!

Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Now before any of you fans of the Oakland Athletics go jumping off the East Span of the Bay Bridge, let me preface this by saying ” This is just a what if this happens post ” No truth to this at all……..At least not yet!!!!!

So let’s go back to the year 1994…….Les Expos de Montréal were taxing that ass in the NL East.  They had a great team of young superstars…….Larry Walker, Moisés Alou, Marquis Grissom and Pedro Martinez……They had the best record in baseball and then the STRIKE hit!!!!!!  After the season was canceled, the ownership started selling off these star players and thus began the eventual demise of the Expos…….After Jeffery Loria purchased the Expos, he then bought the Marlins when John W. Henry purchased the Red Sox.  With the Expos in limbo in 2004, MLB purchased the Expos and moved them to Washington DC, where they now play as the Senators……and Montreal and it’s fan, I say fan because at that point no one was really following them after what Loria did, was left without a team…..

Flash forward to 2013/2014, The Oakland Athletics, led by a core group of young, somewhat playoff experienced players are in the process of being in limbo, sound familiar?????  Now some of you see that managing partner,  Lew Wolff has explained that the owners of the Athletics intend to sign a multi year lease to play in O.co ( Stupid ass name ) Stadium.  But the key word here is INTEND…….Now we all know what MLB has rumored about the Athletics sharing AT&T Wine Cooler and Sushi Stadium with the San Jose Giants…..ooooops, my bad, San Francisco Giants and we all know that’s BULLSHIT too!!!!!!  MLB isn’t gonna do that, too much work involved with changing the schedule and the fans of both teams, do the Giants have true fans?, would not put up with that.  So enter into play the possibility of what happened to the  Expos…..hmmmmm, MLB could purchase the Athletics outright if they do not have a place to play ball and move them to, let’s say Montreal, who doesn’t have a team, but has the famed Olympic stadium that isn’t being used for baseball.  I could see it now…..Les Athletics de Montréal vs Les Blue Jays, the battle of the Croissant!!!!! OUI, OUI!!!!!  If you plan on following the Athletics, be it in Oakland or beyond, it might be a good idea to learn the words at the beginning of this post…….. O CANADA!!!!!!!  Enjoy your day Supporters………

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WATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE HULK GOES WILD ON YOU????

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Terry Gene Bollea, better known to the masses as Hulk Hogan.  An American Icon, an American Legend an American…..ok ok, I think you guys get it!!!  Anyway, I had the pleasure of meeting this man and his family one day while I was working in Seattle.  I usually received advanced warning when an athlete or famous person was going to stop by the store, this came in the form of an email or phone call from the Mothership.  On this day it came in a different form………the form of Japanese tourists coming in and out of the store for hours looking around frantically and asking if Hulk was here?  Hulk????  Hulk who and get that fucking camera outta my face!!!!!! After about 4 hours of this, as I’m standing with my back to the front door I feel a tap on my shoulder and I hear ” Hey BROTHERRRRRRR, do you work here? ”  It was strange to me because I looked like any shopper, not dressed head to toe in the company’s gear…..as I turned around and saw who was doing the tapping I laughed because I thought that phrase was shtick, guess not.  It was Hulk Hogan and wife Linda, son Nick and daughter Brooke ( the kids were young, not at the get in trouble  age yet ) they were accompanied by another Legend Jimmy Ray Hart

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So after I confirmed that I do work here, He informs me that I better rally the troops because there’s a butt load of Japanese Tourists that have been following him ALL DAY and they’re heading this way!!!!!!  Just as he finished TWO huge luxury tour buses pulled up front and off came a massive amount of camera clicking people ( about 200 total ) so before I could react to this, Hulk, as he is accustomed to doing took over.  He proclaimed ”  Just chill out!!!! let me and my family do some shopping and I’ll sign autographs and take photos with each of you ”  I thought to myself ” Yeah right ”  I wondered when the ” Hey Brother, where’s the back door ” would come out of his mouth.

Here’s where I was pleasantly surprised…….so Hulk, his family and Jimmy Hart start browsing around, with me in tow, acting as a body guard ( funny I’m guarding a guy who could break you by just looking at you ) He tells me he’s looking for some sweats and shoes for Jimmy because in all his life he’s never had any of our merchandise.  So it was cool to see these two guys holding up sweat suits and shoes to see if they went with his look.  Hulk was a down to earth guy, never once asked if they could get a discount, as was the custom of other famous people that were not officially sponsored by the company.  He sat down a lot and he explained to me that he was sore from last night’s match and he’s getting too damn old to keep doing this, but he has to put bread on the table somehow.  He also explained for me to be prepared to catch him if he couldn’t stand up!!!! Before I could respond, he acted if he was going to fall and then laughed very loudly at my non-reaction…….He said ” I would’ve have done the same thing!!! ” So after about an hour and a half of shopping and putting up with thousands of flashing cameras, Hulk paid for their merchandise and I was getting ready to take him the back way, but he stopped told his family to hang out and announced to the throngs that had gathered to line up and and let’s start the fun.  So for the next hour, to my amazement, he signed autographs and took pictures with everyone who was there…..Crazy shit, never had I witnessed someone famous do something like this……it was refreshing to see this happen, no attitude, no payment for his time, NOTHING…….when he finished there still was a huge crowd just watching him, so he put his hand on my shoulder and says ” Ok big man, lead the way!”  and he pushes me though the crowd and up to his limo around the corner……..He thanked me for a ” Cool time and for being so easy going about the whole thing ”  After, I kept thinking ” he never did ask for the back way out of the store”  There is a picture of him pushing me through the crowd that I left in my office of the store that has since disappeared, that’s a shame, but the experience of that day shall remain with me and to me that’s better then a picture………

* Side note * For those of you who might think I’m a Wrestling Fan, I’m not, can’t stand the stuff.  I am a fan of genuine people though, so that made me a fan of Hulk Hogan, at least on that day……..enjoy your day Supporters!!!!! 

 

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The Oakland Alameda County, UMAX, Networks Associates, McAffee, Network General O.co Coliseum

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I’ve been a fan of the Oakland Athletics and the Oakland Raiders since 1978 ( Raiders ) and 1979 ( Athletics )  I lived about an hour and half away from Oakland, but it always seemed easy to get there and watch a game, when I was old enough.  I never went to a game with my parents, maybe a couple with my brother but mostly myself and friends.  What follows are some of my experiences at the ball park I grew up with…….( I have two pics to show those that didn’t get a chance to go to the Oakland Alameda County Coliseum ( OACC ) before Al Davis ruined it ) What a difference in how the grass looks back in the day, looks healthy compared to what looks like a local Little League or Cal Ripken League ( HAHAHAHA ) field…….

The majority of my experiences at the OACC came from watching baseball games there.  I’ve been to a lot of  games over the years…….I can’t however remember my first game though ( Old Age SUCKS !!!!! ) I do remember seeing Reggie hit a HR on Opening Night to Left Center one year, I also saw Carl Yastrzemski go deep as well, I mention these two first because of the legend status they had/have.  No matter how much I thought Reggie was an asshole, he still was a great ball player…….

I had a chance to see Nolan Ryan throw a no hitter, but didn’t go because my friend took someone else, oh well…….I did get a chance to go to the 1989 World Series.  My brother and I had tickets for  games 1-4 but sold 3 & 4.  It was an awesome experience to say the least.  It was the first time I ever had assigned seating for bleacher seats, I sat in Left and my brother sat in Center.  I remember before game 3 started I was driving home from work and everyone was pulling over, the pre game went off the air and I thought ” What the Fuck ”  but was happy to see people getting outta my way so I could cruise home, 20 minutes later I learned of the Earthquake that devastated Central and Northern California…….. It was kind of bitter sweet when the Athletics Annihilated the lowly, second fiddle, cry baby Giants, but it’s a Championship, the fourth one since the Athletics moved to Oakland in 1968…..

My favorite game that I saw there was the Boston Red Sox vs the Athletics……June 7, 1981…..Dennis Eckersley started for the Bosox and Tom Underwood for the Athletics, Boston was leading 3 to 1 going into the bottom of the 9th with Eck still pitching……Dwayne Murphy singles and then with 2 outs and 2 strikes on him, Tony Armas took Eck deep, it was the best feeling I ever had watching a game.  Then in the bottom of the 11th Murphy leads off by taking Mark Clear deep and sending me home HAPPY!!!!!

Other greats that I had the pleasure to see play baseball at the OACC, Dwight Evans, Bo Jackson ( a total athletic freak of nature ) Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, Rickey Henderson, Carney Lansford,   Jim Rice, Brian Downing, Ken Griffey Jr, Cecil Cooper, Ben Oglieve (sp?) Gorman Thomas, Paul Molitor, Robin Yount ( oh hell all the Brewers from the Harvey Wall Banger Years were great ) Dwayne Murphy, Tony Armas and too many more to list.

One of the most embarrassing moments was waiting for the gates to open for Opening Night one year, 5 of my friends and I packed into a Toyota Station wagon listening to music and having a great time until the gates opened.  When they did the car wouldn’t start, dead battery!!!!!!  And I was the first one in line of over 100 cars……..about 15 went by as I tried to figure out what to do and finally someone stopped and gave me a jump.  All my friends went in to see batting practice and stayed to let the battery charge up!!!!!  Never again I kept saying!!!!!!!!

Best non baseball moments, 1st was the 6th game of the year when the Raiders returned to Oakland and they played the Seahawks in 1995 and the 2nd was Day on the Green # 2 on October 10, 1987 when Mötley Crüe was the headliner and Tommy Lee had the rotating drum set!!!!!  AWESOME stuff, even with a dislocated ankle from playing football……

So needless to say I have had some great times at the OACC, I hope those that read this have had some too……..enjoy your day!!!

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The Clouds parted and the water settled……..

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AND ON THE 7th DAY, GOD CREATED THE PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE ( or so they think HE did )……So all this Bonds talk had me thinking back to the days that I had the pleasure of working around different professional athletes…..I won’t go in to detail of what my position was, but just know it allowed me intimate access to the lives of privileged…..

My first encounter with an Athlete away from their place of business was when I was tagging along with Reggie Jackson in my hometown, of where I think he still resides……he was shopping for some clothes for his trip to be inshrined in the Hall of Fame. I’ve always been aware of Mr. Jackson’s attitude, but I have never seen it up close and personal like I did on this particular day. As he was perusing the aisles of clothes I noticed people looking at him but staying away except a little girl, she had to have been about 8 years old, and she shyly asked if he was Reggie Jackson? He answered ” Yes” I could see her mother off in the distance smiling at what was apparently her idea to have her little girl approach him……the little girl then asked if she could have his autograph……and Mr. Jackson proceeded to rip this little girl a new one!!!!! I can’t begin to remember how many ” Do you know who I am’s and How dare you bother me’s ” I heard coming from his mouth, too many to recall, because I think I crawled into myself due to being embarrassed. Then he yelled across the store to the mother telling her to come get her kid before he calls the police because ” I’m Reggie Jackson………for fuckin Christ sake ” He then looked at me and said ” Do you believe the nerve of some people? ” ” I would’ve have given her an autograph if she really knew who I were without the help of her mother, but since she didn’t, fuck ’em ” OK Reggggg….and that was it for my dealings with one Reginald Martinez Jackson….

I did see him out at his club he co-owned and he would see me and nod hello as if he recognized my face but couldn’t remember why he did……Mr. October, class act my man……NOT!!!!!

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Cal and Billy Ripken

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sure as brothers go, both Cal and Billy Ripken have some similarities……the love of baseball comes to mind and that’s about it as far as I can tell.  Their baseball careers were polar opposites of each other, one in the Hall of Fame,  the other roaming the halls,  one almost never missing a game his entire career,  one almost completing a whole season ( maybe ) one a household name, one you wouldn’t let in to your house……..Growing up the only thing Billy Ripken was know for was the baseball card mistake that had the words ” Fuck Face ” written on the bottom of the bat handle……It was a must, as a kid, to have this card!!!!!!  But that was all he was known for.  So later on in life when I had the privilege of hanging out with the Ripken’s, nothing really had changed, in my humble opinion…….So here’s where I have to let you in on some personal stuff, I worked for a well know, multi billion dollar sports company that is located in the Pacific NorthWest and had the occasion to hang out with a bunch of Amateur  and Pro Athletes.  So back to the Ripken’s,  On this particular day, I got word that the Ripken’s were in town teaching kids at their baseball clinic and after they would be in to do some shopping, of course free of charge.   As the ( the only way I can explain it is a Vegas Stripper Party Bus ) pulled up I kind of got nervous and I prided myself at not doing this with Athletes, because after all they are human like me, just with more skill and $$$$ in the bank.  But my nervousness soon stopped when the doors of the bus opened and out fell 3 empty and 5 full cans of Miller Lite.  The driver informed the passengers that they were at the destination and off came Cal Ripken, followed by his brother Billy, who was carrying a 24 pack of beer.  He made it to the third step of the bus and was told to stay on board by his brother.  Cal quipped ” You’ve put in a hard days work, take it easy ”  It was like someones life flashing before my eyes in that split second……I wondered so this is why he never made anything of himself and he plays a good second if not third fiddle to his brother Cal.   I’m glad, being the second brother in my family that I’m not named Billy, because there have been some FUCK UPS named Billy who’s brothers are famous……..Needless to say Cal was as cool as they come, a true nice guy, not just being nice because of who he is, but genuine.  He called and spoke to his daughters and wife numerous times while he was shopping to make sure he got sizes and colors right and just to say hi……..he spoke about his busy schedule with the clinic and how much he enjoyed working with kids.  We spoke about how the company I worked for sock’s didn’t stay up and he didn’t like them at all.  He asked me what i thought of certain types of equipment and how I liked working for my company.   I didn’t ask questions about baseball or really anything, I just let him talk.  The funny thing was that my boss was a HUGE Cal Ripken fan, he had a shrine in his office devoted to Cal, it was borderline Obsessive!!!!!!! I did not get along with this guy, so I made it a point to inform him that I spent almost 2 hours walking around with him shooting the shit!!!!!!  I’m one who likes to push the knife in a little more to make sure I get my point across to people, if you know what I mean…….Anyway, after Cal was finished shopping, he thanked me for hanging out with him and away he went, with his booze soaked brother Billy and his empty beer cans.  Maybe that bat handle was not a mistake after all………

 

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